Emotional Regulation in a Provocative World: How to Stay Grounded When Everyone’s Pushing Your Boundaries

Has anybody noticed how provocation seems to lurk around every F...ing corner? There's a palpable negativity in the air, a troubling undercurrent of dishonesty that can't be ignored.

We're living in an era where rational thinking has become scarce, and being mean-spirited has become commonplace.

For those who rely on my guidance, I want to emphasise that during these challenging times, mastering self-advocacy and emotional regulation isn't just helpful – it's essential protection.

How will you react when people invade your boundaries and your space?

Co-workers, strangers, and random people are all too happy to ingratiate themselves into your life while sharing unsolicited advice—especially on social media.

I experienced this firsthand on a flight back from LA when my fellow passenger and his wife repeatedly told me that I "didn't need to wear a mask." I calmly responded that I was well aware of that fact but was choosing to wear it anyway. When he went further to say it made him uncomfortable, that was the moment my emotional regulation faltered.

I asked him if he needed a therapist, as my colleague was on the flight and might be able to help - because I knew at that point, his problem wasn't me; it was that he couldn't manage his own discomfort around my personal choice.

Being able to emotionally regulate would have helped my fellow passenger navigate his feelings.

Learning this is essential for modern survival.

This ability - to adjust the intensity of our emotional responses - represents both practiced discipline and innate wisdom.

When we nurture this capacity, we gain something truly precious: ownership over our internal landscape.

By learning to modulate our responses - amplifying some while gently dampening others - we reclaim our sense of authority over situations that might otherwise overwhelm us.

This isn't about suppressing authentic reactions but rather about choosing how we engage with them.

Before responding to provocations, taking a moment to ask yourself thoughtful questions creates space for discernment:

➡️ "Is this response aligned with my deeper values?"

➡️ "Will this reaction serve my wellbeing in the longer term?"

➡️ "Is my response proportionate to what's actually happening?"

The true challenge lies not in the provocations themselves—these will always exist - but in our ability to maintain our centre when facing them.

Your power resides not in controlling others' behaviour, but in your sovereign choice of how you respond.

Remember, in a world that seems determined to provoke, your emotional sovereignty becomes both your sanctuary and your strength.

Let’s talk about how emotional regulation can make a difference in the way you communicate.

Robyn Spens, Advanced RTT® Therapist, RTC® Coach, Business Coach and Trainer for Marisa Peer.

Want to learn how RTT can help you strengthen your emotional regulation and set healthier boundaries? Connect with Robyn via Inner Belief.